Confusion
by KleptoKura
Summary: Naruto is confused about himself and thinks of himself as nothing as a monster, and Sasuke comes along to confuse him even further but it's not all entirely unpleasent so he just rolls with it. SasuNaru


**No please don't kill me and yes I did die several times but I mean metaphorically, life is not a very kind thing when it decided to make life not very pleasent. On the bright said I am here not and I will steadily begin writing again, writers block for an entire year is not the most awesome thing in the world. Kill and bitch me out later, anyway this is my first SasuNaru fiction I blame my friend who gave it to me cause I was bored and now I'm hooked once is a oneshot and I guess it could be borderline drabbly but w.e enjoy it.**

**Warning: This is Sasuke and Naruto, SasuNaru goodness don't like then don't read**

**Disclaimer: K. Masashi had yet to yeild into my pleading to take all the bishies from Naruto as my own**

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**Confusion**

He hated himself, he hated himself for not being strong enough, he hated himself for being a monster, he hated himself for being clumsy and stupid, he hated himself for trying too hard to achieve the unattainable, and he especially hated himself for falling in love. He had been doing so well at keeping it calm and somewhat tame, to keep it from taking over in a fit of rage. Lately it was becoming so hard not to get angry not to let that beats inside of him wash over him with that familiar chakra, anger, all that hate. Whether it be the beast or himself he had plenty of pent up hate to go around, but he was a master of emotions.

Until it comes to him

Until it comes to Sasuke

Anything involving the dark haired raven with his dark cold eyes, and his never ending string of insults got his blood to boil. Any amount of control he had simply did not exist with the Uchiha, he couldn't help getting riled, couldn't help fighting and certainly could not help his feelings. With Sasuke he supposed that in way Sasuke was the only one he could vent to, his hidden frustrations and Sasuke took them. Sasuke took all his loud mouthing, insulting, punches, and he did the same for the raven.

He could tell when he was paying careful attention, when Sasuke was in bad mood, well a worse mood then normal for the raven never seemed happy on any occasion. And no one but him could handle the full blunt of Sasuke's anger, his hurt, his undying rage that he felt. That knowledge always made him happy in some sort of sick way because that meant on some level that Uchiha bastard needed him.

Lately he had been trying to ignore and avoid Sasuke though for this exact reason, this totally lack of control he had in his presence. He knew he should have talked to someone about it, anyone but what would they do if they knew. At that a rush of panic coursed through him and he felt his hands, no claws tighten and dig into the shoulders of who was beneath him. If they knew that the seal was fading, breaking faster than it should have, for it should be lasting years longer. It was fear of the unknown that had held him back from everyone, from Kakashi, Iruka, Sakura, his friends from Sasuke.

What would the village do if they knew, would they kill him because he's only know realizing he doesn't want to die. Would they lock him up putting every damn seal they knew to keep him contained, would they try to help him or help themselves? The fact remained he did not know, he did not want to find out and right now he wanted nothing more to runaway, but he couldn't. Because Sasuke had pushed him too far and had snapped and he had transformed into a monster, a monster that was currently holding his prey.

Looking down he could see Sasuke so clearly even though he was glazed in a vision of red. Sasuke beautiful raven hair tossed carelessly around his face as those cold knowing eyes glared at him from below. They way Sasuke was trembling beneath out of anger but not out of fear, Sasuke had never feared him. He was the only one who had never feared him at any point, he almost gave him hope. Gazing down he felt the struggle beneath him and out of anger he growled inhumanly and tightened his grip and vaguely he noted the shoulder were already dyed red.

If he wasn't so damn angry at him he would let himself caress that god gorgeous face many dreamed of touching. It was moments where he took the chance to just stare at him that he wanted to just act on impulse, even if it meant the raven would hate him for it. Just to touch that smooth muscled pale skin and perhaps brush his lips against those deliciously looking pale ones. Eyes glaring at him, he realized that Sasuke needed to stop, stop struggling or he really would let go and possible kill the only person that mattered to him.

"Sasuke," Growling lowly and breathily trying to gain control of his body and his angry hate clouded mind. "You need…stop struggling" His voice didn't sound like his own but that was to be expected and he only hoped that for once Sasuke would listen because even though he loved the raven, right now the only thing in his system was hate. The struggling continued and so did the intensity of the glare, but this time the raven was speaking.

"Dobe you need to get the hell off of me," He had growled back into his face, nothing but irritation in his voice, not a drop of fear. It was almost enough to make him laugh out loud, Sasuke knew that he could probably kill him but it was like he knew he wouldn't. "I'm trying but your making it difficult just stop for a few damn minutes," The normalcy of it all making it easier to just be calm, to be in control. Sasuke stared at him discontented and almost annoyed but eventually he stopped, in fact all struggling ceased to exist. Though the next few minutes were silent and nothing but quietly observing each other as he tried to tie the beast back inside.

He felt his grip finally loosen on the ravens shoulder, he felt himself beginning to calm down enough where he slowly pulled himself away. And so he sat there and watched as he got up and looked annoyed as observed his blood soaked shoulders. He noted that 'only' Sasuke would be annoyed that his shirt would be stained with blood and not screaming in fear and running away.

Running away from the monster he was

And he let himself sigh, and to his ears it sounded content and he felt as that last bit of the kyuubi went back and he was finally himself again. It was silent, so unbearably silent and he had nothing but his own thoughts to comfort him. But right now he felt so much damn shame, and he felt worthless what he could have done was unthinkable. He lifted up his hands and looked at them long and hard, and he felt disgusted with himself they way they were covered in blood.

"Dobe," A smooth voice called him from his trance and what he saw confused him, those lips where tight thin, eyes looking concerned. It confused him no because Sasuke was an emotionless prick because he knew that he wasn't, it was because the concern seemed to be aimed at him. Then he averted his eyes and stared at the grass below, guilt prickling along his skin like some sort of sickness. He heard the other shift and crouched in front of him and he tried ignoring him.

"Let me see it," It was a command, in that low sultry voice and he wanted to submit but fear, always fear held him back.

"No teme," He growled out of anger and fear, what would he do if he saw the withered breaking seal mark.

"I said let me see it," Again a command and using that voice that demanded to be answered and complied with, familiar territory.

"Fuck no…" That was apparently the wrong answer as he felt himself being pinned to the grinned roughly and his hands being pinned above him being held down with one hand while his body pinned his legs and that one hand went to grab his shirt. Panic set in and he struggled and he yelled and he attempted to kick the other off of him, no no no anyone but him. Then he ceased his movements because that Uchiha bastard had finally managed to lift that shirt up and was intently staring at stomach where that damned seal resided.

And he looked away and for once did not want to see that bastards face, no matter how tauntingly beautiful it was. So he didn't see it, the concerned frown on that usually cold face or the thoughtful expression after that. Gently he felt finger trailing along the seal on his stomach causing the skin to tingle with electricity. To petrified and confused to do anything he for once, did nothing and just let Sasuke do whatever it was he was doing.

"Naruto," The low tone causing an involuntary shiver through him as he felt eyes boring into him intensely. "How long?" And once again the hyper active knuckle headed ninja was silent, and it was almost suffocating. The silence had made the ninja above him glare in anger which was confusing because he was still gently trailing those damn fingers on his stomach. And it was hard not to think of anything besides the never ending pleasant sensation on his stomach and the unpleasant one inside his stomach.

"Naruto answer me damn it" He growled and this time he complied, because he was losing it and he could already feel the hot tears forming and he damned them. "A few months now," Trying to be calm and collected even as he knew in a few minutes he would break down. "Why didn't you tell anyone dobe," And then he looked straight at him and he was lost in those dark orbs and then the gate came crashing down and he couldn't do a damn thing to stop them.

"I was afraid," Saying it in a low whisper as hot tears streamed down his face, and only with this man, best friend, eternal rival, secret love would he admit it to. Above him he saw a faint nod of understanding, he understood why and that was a small relief. Suddenly he felt he hands again as blood flowed back and as if things couldn't get any more confusing Sasuke laid his head down on his chest and closed his eyes.

"Te-teme what-" He tried to be angry but he was cut off suddenly through his stuttering, "Dobe shut up," Again he obeyed and he was starting to hate himself for that too, adding one more weakness to his list. He could feel it, his heart picking up pace as the raven just sat there his ear against his chest just listening. Slowly without his consent he relaxed he felt as all his muscles stopped being so tense and just melted, he hadn't even realized he had stop crying.

It was silent, nothing but a slight breeze ruffling the leaves in the canopy above them. And he breathed heavily taking in the scents of the clean air, and the scent of the trees and he loved it. He wanted nothing at that moment to lay there forever if possible, only Sasuke only Sasuke could make him feel this way so…relaxed. But he knew it could never be after all the great Sasuke Uchiha, gay? Certainly not besides he had to pick some high fangirl to keep that blood line going right?

Right

Then why was Sasuke here non moving from his chest even with a small smile, almost so small only inches away could he see it. Then it hit him, Sasuke was asleep his breathing was soft and evened out and his body limp and relaxed. Confusion be damned he was going to take advantage of this and so he stared eyes roaming every inch of the Uchiha. It was so wrong to be like this, to be happy with him, to even be touching him, then why did it felt so right. Frowning he lifted his hands to touch that face and then he was reminded of what he was.

The blood had dried and was caked onto his hands and he felt nauseated by it and his hands dropped. He couldn't be there, shouldn't be like this he didn't deserve this small gift, and he had to leave. He tried to move and the body underneath him tensed and then an irritated voice slightly muffled rang in his ears. Caressed him from the inside out even though it shouldn't, but it did.

"Dobe don't you DARE move," So he didn't, he stopped moving and the confusion swimming more in his head causing him dizziness and so he just laid back down and closed his eyes. He just grunted and now it was Sasuke's turn to stare at the blonde he laid on top of, he could see it written all over the blondes face. The confusion, the pain, and the hurt he was feeling and he could see the fear as well and suddenly he was glad he had seeked the blonde out.

Tired that is what he felt, he was tired that the blonde had been avoiding him and everyone and he saw the subtle change over the last few months. But enough was enough he needed to blonde to be near him, he was addicted to the happy go lucky blonde. He knew that the blonde was much more then determination and happiness though because underneath that was a swirling mass of pain and fear. Too long had denied his feelings for the blonde haired ninja with that tantalizing sun kissed skin.

Once he had admitted in defeat to his feelings that only grew steadier each day, he loved everything about him. That unkempt blonde hair, tan skin, his movements, his loud annoying voice, those sparkling eyes. Then he sighed such a deep wistful sigh that made his inner Uchiha shudder at his un-Uchiha like behavior. The body beneath him was utterly relaxed and it felt heavenly, even though there was a small lingering tenseness of it. Closing his eyes he listened to the gently rhythm of Naruto's heart, and to him it was the most beautiful music next to the blonds voice.

He thought of all the times this person had kept him going, how he made him feel again. Through his life he thought nothing was more important than being stronger, no the strongest and do nothing then go after his brother Itachi and kill him. And he had cared for nothing but that for so damn long and he was so cold to everyone because he thought they we all worthless. Then he got paired up with Sakura, and Naruto and Naruto was like a never ending sun in his darkness.

Naruto kept pushing him to his limit he was worthy of exchanging words with him, worthy of sparring with him, worthy to even be called his friend though he'd never say it aloud. Naruto had even earned his respect and that was long ago he didn't even think the blonde knew he already had it. Slowly he wanted to just be with Naruto, be in his presence because it had made him feel calm, happy. Emotions swirled within that he had forgotten even existed, and it was all the blondes fault. Briefly he wandered what had happened to the avenger he always thought of himself, and he guessed he probably died somewhere along the way.

At that moment he didn't care because he was touching him, they were alone and this was a private moment. He could say anything he wanted, he could do anything he wanted and the only witness would be the warm sun and the trees. He wanted to smother the blonde with his new confusing feelings, he wanted to touch the blonde he wanted Naruto Uzumaki to be his and his alone. And if thought he was a selfish bastard before he really thought he was being selfish wanting Naruto all to himself.

Cracking a smile he realized Naruto was right he was a selfish bastard but he could have cared less because for once in his life he was happy. Looking up he found Naruto was still deep in thought his brows knit together in concentration, his lips together in a firm line. 'He's so fucking adorable' His voice echoed in his head, and Naruto was even those whisker like scars made him so Naruto. Suddenly he felt his heart pick up pace, because he needed to know and he needed to get it off his chest finally.

"Naruto" Softly calling the blondes name and like a trance those shining blue orbs opened and stared at him with confusion and something akin to fear. Smiling a bit nervously he took his hand and soft caressed a whiskered cheek and he saw a light shade of pink dust it and he smirked. Beneath him Naruto tensed again and he brushed a stray lock of golden hair out of the way. Breathing deeply he prepared himself for the worst and then he began to speak low and soft.

"Naruto I think you need to know something,"

"What would that be," His voice was low, scared and just a tad eager.

"Naruto you're my best friend, my rival, but you've become something so much more than that," He paused and for the first time he felt unsure and wanted to run he could feel his leg muscles twitching. "You've given me life, you've given me something to aspire for, to better myself, you gave me friendship and you never gave up on me, in fact," He chuckled as Naruto eyes widened in disbeliefe and shocked confusion. "You hardly leave me alone and you know I wouldn't have it any other way because believe or not dobe I'm in love with you"

"Sasuke….you can't mean that, I mean you can't fall in love with me," Naruto almost pleaded to him and he wasn't surprised he was relieved it wasn't outright rejection. So he leaned down so he was only an inch away from those blue eyes and he could feel Naruto's breath against his own. "And tell me why I can't fall in love with you," Raising a brow as Naruto shuddered beneath him and blue eyes looked pained. "Because I'm a monster,"

Trying to prove a point he winced ever so slightly when Naruto grasped his shoulder, he had forgotten the wounds he received when he had gone semi kyuubi on him not to long ago. Only shaking his head he spoke low and he put real feeling into his next three words. "I love you," Then he pressed forward and landed on soft lips and for a moment the blonde did not respond but then he gently pressed forward, almost needy. Slowly they parted it wasn't a heated kiss but it proved a point it was a loving kiss and Naruto would be the only person on this entire damned planet who would get it.

"You're no more a monster then I am, or Kakashi, Iruka or anybody else, but I can tell you what you are dobe," He smirked possessively and Naruto just stared at him and though his eyes no longer afraid." Don't call me dobe teme," He just laughed a big hardy laugh and snuggled against his Naruto, causing him to get all flustered with a nice rising blush on his face. "Your mine is what you are," At this the blonde truly had nothing to say though his mouth was agape to retort but no sound came out.

"Cat got your tounge?" He asked and what he was got in return was Naruto pressing his mouth against his. This time the kiss was heated and that delicious mouth opened and allowed him to enter and there tongues dances against one another and after a few minutes they broke apart panting from lack of air and effort. And all Sasuke could think about was how damn delicious the blonde tasted and he was quite satisfied with himself.

"No Sasuke but you do," With that Naruto gave him a big cheeky smile with happiness and warmth glittering his eyes, and he couldn't but help but smirk. Growling his pinned him beneath him and he gave him a predatory grin and Naruto kept on smiling. "That's not all I got dobe,"

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**-satisfied-  
Reviews are always nice~**


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